Unrefined Athlete

Attention Vitamix

Dear Vitamix Corporation,

I really need one of your blenders. I tried to put in on my wedding registry but for some reason nobody wants to buy it for me. There was no problem with the $850 digital SLR camera my fiance wanted or the $300 Kitchen Aid mixer, which I don't even want because I don't bake since I have no self control when it comes to cookies, cake, pie, muffins, and almost anything refined and delicious that mixers such as this one are used to make.  For some reason nobody will spring for the blender! WHY?!

Currently I am forced to make my smoothies in the $35 immersion blender I bought to "hold us over," until somebody bought me one of your blenders. See pathetic image below:

Everytime I make a smoothie it gets all over the counter and pieces of spinach land on the floor or on my dog's back as he scavenges around underneath me.  I am sick and tired of reading posts with everyone ranting and raving over their Vitamix. I am literally "green" with envy- which doesn't bode well for my supposed yogic way of life- when I read about how thick and creamy the smoothies your blender turns out taste by my blogging colleagues. Green smoothies make me so happy I even drink them in large plastic margarita glasses while sitting in the blow up kiddie pool I put in my backyard to "ice bath" in after runs. See image below:

So please Vitamix take pity on a poor graduate student who desperately wants to enjoy the green smoothie goodness only you can provide!

Sincerely,
The Girl whose Immersion Blender has Permanently Stained her Counters

PS. No I am not including an image of me ice bathing in my kiddie pool. I may be pathetic for writing this post but even I have boundaries.

Alter-G ME!*

Dear Alter-g, 

Upon reading my April edition of Runner's World Magazine I discovered that one of the top marathon runners in the world, Kara Goucher, uses you.  Since I aspire to compete with Kara one of these days, I endeavored to discover who and what you are.  I found that you are so much more than I could have imagined.  An anti-gravity treadmill?! I get to wear cool, special anti-gravity shorts.  I can run miles, upon miles, fast, and my shin/butt/hip/knee/(insert body part here) won't hurt? This is even better than the swim in place lap pool! 

I must have one of you. So, I e-mailed Martin, your sales guy, and told him this.  He informed me that there were two models: one at $55,000 and one at $75,000. But, that you had a great relationship with Bank of America for financing. A $75,000 treadmill? Oh boy. I don't even own a house. What if I told you that your treadmill has become a symbol of running stardom to me? It's also pretty ridiculous looking, but that's completely okay. If you gave me one I promise I would run, and run, and run as much as I could on it until I won a marathon. If you want me to test it out, I'll even take pictures of myself in your sweet shorts. Also, I bought the url www.altergme.com and I'm willing to trade. One treadmill for one domain name. 

Sincerely,

The Girl who Wears the Compression Socks so her Shin Won't Hurt. 

*Disclaimer: I do not work with Alter-G.  The only contact I've had with them was to ask how much one costs (see above).